Being someone who has decided to turn my life into a never-ending critique of life in Guam, I can no longer ask myself, "What the hell is the matter with Guam?!" Even today, while I still want to desperately ask myself that, I have a dozen or so ready explainations as to why Guam is the hell like that.
Today I stumbled across yet another glorious poll on the Guam PDN website (http://www.guampdn.com). These polls always seem to exemplify colonization in frustratingly simple ways. One can only marvel at how they are created. Do they sit before a computer, mouths dripping in anticipation of whatever horrifying construction of reality they can come up with next? Do they begin with more honest polls like "should all public school children on Guam just be flown to California for school rather than waste their time here?" or "should the Federal government be in charge of everything on Guam (except the PDN of course, since that would be unnecessary since we pretty much follow their lead anyways)?" and then soften it up to things such as today's poll, "should the Federal Government take over GWA (Guam Water Authority)?"
Robert Underwood was gof magahet when he complained that Guam is sadly unique in the fact that the majority of its people want as much intervention as possible from the Feds, where as most states and all nations would want as little as possible. In Guam however, Federal interference is often seen as the only way that local pathologies and absolute inferiority can be overcome. The light of America's reason is the only thing that can save us from our dark, corrupting cultures. How can anyone without, their chest cavities either collapsing or exploding say that colonization is dead and gone, when these narratives still very much bind us in the way we conceptualize what can and should be done to fix Guam?