I'm F**k**g My Dissertation

Contrary to the rumors that are circulating that I'm already done with my Ph.D. I still have some revisions left to do. Ti dinagi este, lao ti mismo munhayan yu'. I did defend in June, and I did walk in my graduation, but there is still one more big hurdle na bai hu tayoki in order to finish.

As for the revisions, to say that the past month or so of writing has been frustrating is very kind, and is nowhere close to expressing my actual feelings. Some of the revisions are good and will make the dissertation more solid and improve it, others are tedious and I loathe or resist because of the way they came primarily from an antagonistic committee member at my defense. But still I'm forcing myself to work and to write. But its difficult to find time to write for hours or days at a time (especially now that I'm back in Guam). So my writing comes in (as my male' Nicole calls them) chunks. Small or large pieces of time here and there. Maybe a page, a paragraph of something here, and then there. No ripping out hair and yelling at a blank document or an unfinished sentences or thought for hours. You take lots of breaks, do other things, come back and try and finish up the next thought.

Although it feels slow, I've often found that this works much better. Especially since the wording or the phrasing or the argument that I was seeking in angry frustration when I was in front of the computer, will often pop into my head out of nowhere, when I'm doing something else.

Returning to work, after doing something else or taking a break can often be difficult and sometimes returning to work on my laptop will entail nothing near my dissertation, but instead amount to blogging, writing emails, reading progressive blogs or sifting through my old files to see if there's anything that I can just cut and paste from so I don't need to produce any new original thoughts.

What I've found that works in order to get me into the mood for writing again, is to watch funny videos on Youtube. If I can find a video that puts a smile on my face or makes me laugh out loud, then before my smile fades off, I've opened up the draft I'm working on and started reading and writing where I've left off. Ti hu tungo' i mina'taiguini yu', lao taya' guaha. Maolekna na gaitiningo' put Hagu ya estranu, kinu taitiningo' put Hagu ya pues taya' kinemprende lokkue'.

These two videos are from a year or two ago, but damn ,they still make me laugh and for some reason help me work on my dissertation.





The whole "I'm F**k**g Matt Damon" and I'm F**k**g Ben Affleck" fight was epic. The first video by Sarah Silvermann is hysterical, but the response by Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck was grandiosely hysterical. The gathering of famous and semi-famous people to stand together and sing in unison about the sexual intercourse that Ben Affleck and Jimmy Kimmel are having, in the style of We Are the World is somewhat offensive, but horribly funny!

My favorite part of the entire cameo filled video is when out of nowhere, Lance Bass formerly of the band N'sync suddenly asks what Huey Lewis thinks and whether or not he saw the couple doing it. Cameron Diaz confirms that such an inquiry is a kosher one, and then proceeds to ask Huey what he saw. Huey, with all the soul and power of love that he can muster, belts out that he did indeed see the two in question making love to each other in a bathroom stall.

Macy Gray: He’s f**k**g Ben…Ben Affleck’s his guy.

Joel Madden and Benji Madden: Oh, it’s through the f**k**g night and day…

Lance Bass: Just ask Huey!

Cameron Diaz: Okay, I’ll ask him Huey, did you see them f**k at all?

Huey Luis: Yes, I saw them f**k. They were in a bathroom stall.

These sorts of arrangements where each celeb gets a line or two are so funny, because if you've got a big ego and only a few words or notes to display it, you put everything into it. When you're making a parody of We are the World, it gets even better, as the video shows.

That reminds me, better get back to writing!