Friday, February 09, 2007

Patgon-hu


I’ve got a surprise for everyone!

In about two months from now, I’m going to be a father!

Hunggan dinanche hafa un hungok, gi i otro’ña na mes bai hu tåta!

I’m very excited about this, but the situation is a little complicated too. Me and the i nananpatgon-hu, Jessica aren’t together, so although I’ve said that I’m committed to helping raise the baby and she’s said that she’ll support me and let me participate, the mechanics of it all are still uncertain.

For the past few months I’ve been planning to move back to Guam. I’ve been rushing to finish up with my coursework, qualify and take my exams and then head home to try and find work.

Over the past few weeks however, things have gotten more and more uncertain. Since coming back to Guam a few weeks ago (and feeling my baby kick twice!) I’ve been in academia again and facing the realities of finishing up a dissertation. Different people, professors and family members have all cautioned me against hurrying back to Guam. Not because of the baby, but because I might either take a long time to finish up my dissertation or never finish at all.

I’ve been feeling messed up lately because I’m torn. I want to be there at the beginning, for my baby, and I don’t want Jessica to feel like I’m abandoning her. She’s been supportive though, and said that its okay if I decide to stay out here. My mom says that in the long run, it will be better for me to finish up or get further along in my Ph.D. program to make sure I finish, before settling down to raise the baby.

I did ask Jessica though if she would move out here to San Diego so I can finish, but she was hesitant about it (for obvious reasons, her family and her friends are all in Guam, and then the two of us aren’t even together), and her family was dead set against it. That would probably be the best thing, but it’ll have its own complications.

While I was on Guam though we did choose names, which took a while and was a lot of fun. Jessica had already chosen the Chinese name for the baby, later on I’ll scan it and put it on my blog. But I was excited that she let me choose a Chamorro name for the baby. Here are the ones we picked.

If it’s a girl: Sumåhi
If it’s a boy: Sahuma

Even though I’m stressed as hell right now about this choice and about school in general, I’m still so excited, I just wished I had more energy to articulate it, to celebrate it.

2 comments:

charissa said...

Buenas Miguet,
Congratulations to both you and jessica. I am sure that everything will work itself out. Parenthood is a challenge but a blessing as well. Speaking from experience, I know that as long as you are both dedicated to the raising of your child and respect eachother in the process- your child will grow up just fine. Congrats again.

Leilani said...

I was googling for Chamorro names to add to our boy name list, and lookee what I found! Michael's blog! Any other boy name suggestions?

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